If for just one day, be thankful

There are many ways to look at Thanksgiving. At this point in my life, most holidays have become a time to reflect. Most of them lead me to count my blessings. Oh, there are always big, giant problems in every life. There are things that we would give anything to fix if we could. If we look carefully though, even those have some beauty and grace. Sometimes you have to squint and maybe look sideways, but they are always there.I'm still barely able to believe that my brother is really gone after years of suffering, hanging on, hoping for a transplant. But he is. He is no longer suffering. Our lives here on the hill are no longer completely absorbed by the tenuous balance of sodium, water, lactulose, medications, and proteins that ruled our days. No more midnight dashes to the ER. I am thankful that his pain is over - as (for the most part) is ours. There's such a bittersweet thrill in watching my daughter grow into an independent young woman with dreams that will likely lead her away from me. That was my job, and it appears that I did it pretty well. I am thankful to have been able to (as my sister always says) give her roots and wings, all the while holding back my inclination to cling to her. I am thankful for the whimsical notes that customers write on their orders, letting me know that they love the magazine and feel friendship in the pages. They do not know how very appreciated those comments are to me. I am grateful for the friends and family who have watched me row through rough waters in the past 6 months, but withheld their judgment, even though the situation is difficult for them to comprehend. Knowing that they respect my choices and decisions makes me thankful for their acceptance and love. The act of walking outside, breathing in the air and knowing the plants around me changes everything. It is the most healing thing on earth, and it is completely free and easily accessible. For that, I am eternally thankful. I could easily list a hundred things to be thankful for - simple things like clean water, pumpkin pie, a car that starts at the turn of a key, a home amidst family, but those things are too easy. The hidden blessings, the ones that require looking behind, beneath, through, between - those are the sweetest because they are the hardest to find. I am thankful nearly every day - still working on those odd days.