Wednesday, October 21, 2020

One Cook, One Garden

Remember Spring? That was when we looked at that vast expanse of freshly turned earth and at our teensy, tiny little vegetable plants, and thought to ourselves, "these babies will have lots of room to grow." Oh - and there would be so much time to use the veggies to create sauces and canned goods for later in the year. I can actually envision what I was thinking then. In fact, in that vision, the kitchen is well organized and the counters are clear. There were no dirty dishes, no baskets full of drying herbs, I was wearing something chic, great haircut, thinner - and definitely NOT sweating. Reality is somewhat different.We won't even get into the haircut. One counter holds a perpetual supply of peaches from the stand down the road. At this time of year, dinner is usually a couple of peaches cut up and eaten, just so. The other long counter holds an assortment of vegetables that A) I brought in from the garden, B) came home from market or a farm stand, or C) my sister cagily left there on her way to the living room.The kitchen table is half shipping department and half herb drying/processing station with some beans drying for next year's garden. Half of the room is currently taken up with cartons of magazines waiting to be readied for mailing. Today I'll make and freeze some roasted tomato sauce. The other night the peaches were getting boring (hard to believe, isn't it?), and it was too hot to really cook. Sometimes you just need something more. The following was delicious: I threw a small handful of angel hair pasta into a pan of boiling water and went out to gather some basil, which was chopped into very thin strips. Poured about a tablespoon of olive oil into a bowl. Diced up a tomato and added to the oil and basil, muddling it up a little bit, and then added a clove of crushed garlic. When the pasta was done, I added a handful of grated mozzarella and a little Parmesan cheese and stirred it to melt it together. Topped with the tomato/basil/garlic oil. Judging by the glut of cucumbers, tonight will probably be some cucumber lime salsa with chips. And some peaches.

Cucumber Lime Salsa

Cucumber Lime Salsa. . I attended a party several years back and a variation of this recipe was served. I fell in love with the refreshing, light blend right away, and it is one of our favorite summer dishes. Sometimes we'll have it along with tomato salsa, guacamole, and some hummus and tortilla chips - and that's dinner. Ingredients: 1 or 2 Tbsp olive oil 1/4 cup finely chopped onion (I like spring onions, but Vidalia are great too) 1 lime - zest and juice 2 medium cucumbers 1/4 cup chopped cilantro (a smaller amount of flat parsley would probably work if you don't like cilantro) a couple shakes of tabasco (optional) crushed garlic (optional) Add the chopped onion and cilantro to the oil. If using tabasco and/or garlic, mix that in too. Zest lime into the mix. I then cut the lime in half, and pierce each section with a knife to get out lots of juice. Add juice to oil blend. Peel and core the cucumbers. Chop as finely as possible. I've tried a food processor, but that mushes it up too much for my taste. If you do that, drain it for a 10 -15 minutes. Mix it all together well.I would say, "chill to blend flavors" and serve with chips, but it doesn't always make it into the fridge around here. We all love it, and it disappears quickly!We are considering dehydrating some cukes to try in dips, facial blends, and even soap later in the year. I'll let you know how that goes.

Weekend Ramble

We've been keeping our noses to the grindstone lately around The Essential Herbal, so this weekend it was time to get away and have a little fun. Original plans for Saturday fell through, so we found ourselves preparing to head out to the Bead Fest in Valley Forge. Before we left, I checked Facebook and saw that there was an herb and rare plant sale on Route 23, posted by Sugarbush Nursery of Mohnton, PA. We decided we could swing by there on the way home. Bead Fest was interesting - although there are only so many tables full of beads I can stand to look at before starting to get terminally bored. Finally we veered to the back of the building and found one of the glass companies that my sister was looking for - something about "double helix glass". Can't wait to see what she comes up with using them. Hopefully we'll be seeing it soon over at TorchSong Studio! The guys at the booth were pretty much fun to kid around with, and I wound up with several Elvis stickers (some art glass promotion) that I promised to plaster inside donut shops. The conference center was filling up, we had pretty much what we came for, so we were out of there inside an hour. A quick few miles down the road, and we found the plant sale. Interestingly, both of our cameras cut out during the plant sale. Neither of us were able to take any pictures. There were some really nice plants there! Lots of woodland natives, shrubs, hostas, unusual evergreens, and then we got to Sugarbush. She had some gorgeous stuff, and I immediately scooped up some bottle gentian, and a pleurisy root/butterfly weed. As I was preparing to pay, I saw a pot holding just a small mat of green with a tag that said "bluets, Houstonia" and grabbed it! Spending a spring in VA one year, I awoke one morning to find that the entire yard had been transformed into a carpet of tiny blue stars - it was bluets. Later, Betsy May (a friend, and one of our writers) and I spent some time searching for these. I sent her the information immediately upon returning home! Back on the road, we drove on past Susan Hess' Farm at Coventry - but the driveway was filled with cars, so we knew she was having a class and drove on. Right up the road a few miles we saw a sign for St. Peter's Village to the right. It was well past lunch time, so we decided to see if we could grab a bite there. We had a really nice time sitting on the patio of The Inn at St Peter's, looking down over the granite boulders with a spring running through them. So well fed were we that we stopped in the village bakery and managed to leave without making a purchase. Looking back, it's hard to believe we could resist those magnificent confections! Later at home, I cleaned a big basket full of elderberries to dry and gathered lots of lime basil. Just hanging out for the evening with the guinea fowl....Molly went off to work at the Renaissance Faire this morning, but returned home at noon because of the weather and lack of a crowd. I told her to jump in the shower, and she could go along to The Gem Miner's Jubilee in Lebanon. I enjoy this show more than a typical bead show because they have lots of nice specimens of rocks. Big geodes, unusual crystal formations, rare minerals, fossils, and some pretty cool stuff. I almost always find something that makes me feel like I discovered treasure. Today that treasure was strands of myrrh beads from Sumatra. They are beautiful, handstrung, smoothed by hand, and very fragrant. I bought all the dealer had - and it wasn't very much! They will be going on the website tomorrow. Molly got a nice green amber ring, Maryanne found a stone she's been looking for, and I also picked up some nice leopard jasper and a couple of tiny carved figurines that will go into a special little bag.

This little herbie catches a bug

Last night I started feeling something going on in my throat, and took a good dose of elderberry with holy basil. This morning it was still there, so I repeated that. And I got serious about kicking this thing. My friend Betty Pillsbury suggested some sage tea. My pal Rosanne Tartaro said soup. Here's what I did.... First, I made a blend of tinctures: elderberry holy basil ephedra goldenrod St John's wort All of these are either anti-viral or will help with the head-clog, and very beginning of respiratory issues. Then I started a big pot of ham and cabbage. This is something we ate all the time when I was a kid, and it is probably a standard PA Dutch dish. My grandmother and mother both loved cabbage, and passed that along to me. So far, the next generation does not share that love.First filling a big pot about 1/3 full of water, and then adding a large ham hock, I left that to simmer for about an hour until the meat came off the bone. To that, I added a nice chopped cabbage, a couple of onions, some turnips, and a few potatoes. That cooked for a couple more hours. I went into the garden and plucked a nice sprig of sage, and put that into a pint mason jar, along with a slice of crystallized ginger and a licorice root stick, boiled water, and filled the jar, pouring the water over the herbs.Here's my lunch:It was really good, and it will be good again for supper :-). I will continue the sage tea and the tincture blend every hour or so. This thing just cannot get a grip on me right now! And now, to bed.

Syrup for Cough and Congestion

It's been about a week of sneezing and coughing, so I got pretty fed up with the whole thing today.  Time to pull out the big guns.  Oddly, elderberry just didn't do the trick this time.  I shudder to think how nasty this could have gotten without it, though.<br />
Today I made a syrup specifically for this thing that seems to fluctuate between my head and my chest.  I got out some Osha, Licorice root, Elecampane, Wild Cherry bark, Ginger, and Lemon to start a decoction.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFy_hoAUeKrSENE1qji8EOQQRxcmRbLeEv_uFjnRHoVzodVhw77ErFKuSaEILFCe-ybtvgUX-TH3wEDCZS8ZqtH19tAJJbxfXBc5ktsLB5HTLNEi-JKfH1U70EzDmj2OIs2YJvt5D8U50/s1600/aaaingredients.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517646606073630626" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFy_hoAUeKrSENE1qji8EOQQRxcmRbLeEv_uFjnRHoVzodVhw77ErFKuSaEILFCe-ybtvgUX-TH3wEDCZS8ZqtH19tAJJbxfXBc5ktsLB5HTLNEi-JKfH1U70EzDmj2OIs2YJvt5D8U50/s400/aaaingredients.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a>  A decoction is different than an infusion, because roots and barks need to simmer for a period of time, while infusions involve leaves and flowers that are steeped in boiled water for a few minutes.  There is another, newer definition of infusions, but for our purposes, this will do.<br />
I filled a small pan with water, and put all ingredients except the lemon in to simmer for 45 minutes.  I added the juice of a lemon for the last 5 minutes.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZusitOFo0GF07LB-SOJHQ-cLlFiYsAoTvOW3rikJCtTRrPvXYBJfaqsV1zg1EOBi8edocW4qvZEHMVcY8Z_0pEWfYqr3wCqIjGpfpZI2heEhBk4j79YHzGBNzD_RSeaZ0APlmPuS7DSc/s1600/aaadecoction.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517646557308775698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZusitOFo0GF07LB-SOJHQ-cLlFiYsAoTvOW3rikJCtTRrPvXYBJfaqsV1zg1EOBi8edocW4qvZEHMVcY8Z_0pEWfYqr3wCqIjGpfpZI2heEhBk4j79YHzGBNzD_RSeaZ0APlmPuS7DSc/s400/aaadecoction.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a>After it was done, I strained it out.  You can see here that my favorite method of straining things is with a steel mesh strainer lined with fabric from an old tshirt.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3oF4vqfqXwNJtjDcLNSYAil2_yGfE6fORDRpyvqlqdJ_GXNnRcmd-y1I0K8X91ZkWlXfkSfNpvd2tkkLcMAPSAnr8QJkwGim_g8YLRCKr1z-MrWGD4TrHZMRbiS9ppz0XhgzzKul64PA/s1600/aaastraining.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517646613607551010" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3oF4vqfqXwNJtjDcLNSYAil2_yGfE6fORDRpyvqlqdJ_GXNnRcmd-y1I0K8X91ZkWlXfkSfNpvd2tkkLcMAPSAnr8QJkwGim_g8YLRCKr1z-MrWGD4TrHZMRbiS9ppz0XhgzzKul64PA/s400/aaastraining.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a>  As shirts wear out, they are washed and cut into squares for this purpose.  They work beautifully.<br />
There was 2/3 of a cup of decoction, so I measured out 2/3 cup of sugar, and added a good dollop of honey. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitWp_ClRCbMswufIRmkpBVB9RGzxlRKCK7BMgB9nx2x6ZQvek0jWTgenfHXPhDUCNvezXB4ojMg7PWCw3elYRJYTeZx0Cw6qrv3G68pbctZalLjTgqS2ZkXufZhxz_cqqZDk-uVPPDS1M/s1600/aaadecoctionandsugar.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517646575977465858" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitWp_ClRCbMswufIRmkpBVB9RGzxlRKCK7BMgB9nx2x6ZQvek0jWTgenfHXPhDUCNvezXB4ojMg7PWCw3elYRJYTeZx0Cw6qrv3G68pbctZalLjTgqS2ZkXufZhxz_cqqZDk-uVPPDS1M/s400/aaadecoctionandsugar.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a> At that point, I also added 1/2 ounce of goldenrod tincture.<br />
It all went back into the pan, and was brought to a boil for a few minutes before being poured into bottles.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGGPb8lnFWC7qgyvQeBUcB8VRUm5pCxcV5GmoQGt6vVfXeRJCKjiZ0eN_s93K4CttqWcuuJHZbST1xr161F72x-rg5npPvIUY24-R_snovGU16JJQB88POoWRF-s1sXleDpmA8gkVc80Q/s1600/aaafinished.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517646589356545698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGGPb8lnFWC7qgyvQeBUcB8VRUm5pCxcV5GmoQGt6vVfXeRJCKjiZ0eN_s93K4CttqWcuuJHZbST1xr161F72x-rg5npPvIUY24-R_snovGU16JJQB88POoWRF-s1sXleDpmA8gkVc80Q/s400/aaafinished.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a>The decoction alone could be drunk without being made into syrup, and I will make some more for after dinner tonight.  It's nice to have it ready to go, though.<br />
<br />

Lancaster Pa Central Farm Market

Central Market is something that I rarely give much thought to;  it's always just been there.  Growing up before malls and urban sprawl, going "downtown" was the only true option for shopping.  Back then, I never wondered how long the market had existed or even gave much thought to the (at that time) horse-drawn carriages that brought goods into the city for sale, hitched outside the market house for the day.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA_vHjadXtj-aOwGX4QtzdQ5odLOZubCoQnpHdV-fjjk2khMA3DldA_F9IXAiHoTXIGgYEpLD6zI4ZftRzW5uOMGf3T944kkP8aYGkiRyaK2Oev31QTNPBXZOqxvmp0qNcwb5BbVG1e1M/s1600/central+market.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 249px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA_vHjadXtj-aOwGX4QtzdQ5odLOZubCoQnpHdV-fjjk2khMA3DldA_F9IXAiHoTXIGgYEpLD6zI4ZftRzW5uOMGf3T944kkP8aYGkiRyaK2Oev31QTNPBXZOqxvmp0qNcwb5BbVG1e1M/s400/central+market.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524546512225438578" border="0" /></a>
Our county has many markets that have been in existence for decades - some for a century or more.  Green Dragon in Ephrata is one that I researched for a paper in college, and that one has quite a colorful history - including a "roadhouse" period that has a fairly unsavory flavor.  At one time, in addition to the Central Market we had Southern, West End, and Eastern Markets that all ran on different, overlapping days, ensuring that there was always good fresh foods available at any given time.  The Eastern Market is in the midst of a revival, but Central Market has always been there.
In 1730, Alexander Hamilton included it in the original plan of the city, and conveyed personal property to the City of Lancaster in a deal that ensured that the market would always be there.  It has run continuously from that time, with a building being constructed first around 1757, and then being remodeled into our outstandingly beautiful current market building in 1889.  The Market House is under reconstruction right now, but the changes are internal.  The building itself is about 1/2 block long and half as wide, surrounded by a narrow cobblestone alley on all sides that includes hitching posts that are these days used almost exclusively for our mounted police force.
I remember going to Central Market on rare occasions as a child, mostly for baked goods when we happened to be in town shopping for clothes.  We lived out in the country and there was no scarcity of fresh produce and meat for us, and Tuesday nights found our grandfather at Root's Market towards Lititz for produce and donuts to bring home.  Home delivery of breads and milk were also a part of life.
Later, my first job and apartment led me to spend more time at market.  I lived a block away from market, and worked for a paper supply company a block in the other direction.  Each market day, the owner of the company would walk to market and get orders for bags, cake or pie boxes, candy boxes, plates, plasticware, deli-wrap and foil, etc., and then those things would be delivered before the end of the day to the standholders.  Nearly everything I ate came from the market, where standholders supplied beautiful produce, fresh meats and fish, dairy goods, and baked goods.  At least once a week, I'd take home fresh cut bouquets of flowers for the apartment.
In the early 70's the big mall came to town, and nearly wiped the city out.  I married and moved out of the center of the city, making trips into the market a special treat.  It began a long, sad period of decline for the downtown area.
The 90's brought about an exciting revival for the City of Lancaster, with arts being the main focus.  The town is now full of art studios, specialty shops, a school of art and design, music, theatre, and many incredible eateries.  It is once again an exciting hub of activity, and I was so happy when our kids started finding reasons to go "downtown".
Central Market is still the jewel in the crown of the city.  On market days (Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday), the city is once again teeming with shoppers.  It is a real testament to the vision of Alexander Hamilton that this one vibrant part of our heritage has been the thing that seems to have held steady and given hope and purpose to the people who led us back to our town.
I try to get there at least once a month, although it is a special trip.  There is nothing like the offerings of freshly prepared ethnic foods, specialty foods, organic produce and grass-fed beef, fresh ground horseradish, jellies, cider, artisan breads - and so much more - that are beautifully displayed for purchase.  The homemade sauerkraut that families have purchased for decades to serve on New Year's Day with fresh pork and potatoes also from market, the fresh turkeys picked up just before the holidays (along with that tender celery for stuffing!), the smoked hams, the first strawberries, spring peas, green onions of spring - they all are part of what makes this place special.
If you visit Lancaster, visit the oldest continuously running market in the US.  It is steeped in the work and life of centuries of good people, and is the heart of our area.

Herbal Hard Candy


A couple of years ago, Marty Webster wrote about making horehound lozenges, and the instructions were very inspirational for me. Before I knew it, all kinds of ideas were running through my head!
Oh, it started simply enough.... what about elderberry? Maybe something relaxing? Oh! And Holy Basil "on the go"!
All you need is a candy thermometer, a large, heavy pan, and an afternoon. A helper for cutting in the end helps too.
When I was a kid, one of my best friends was from a large farming family, and they had an interesting side business. They made hard candies in about 15 flavors. On candy making nights, I would often stay overnight and help, because many hands were needed. In their basement, they had a stove, and would set 4 kettles filled with sugar, water, and Karo syrup to boil. 

There was a ping-pong table (probably reinforced) that took up most of the room, and we were stationed all around the table with heavy shears. The table was dusted with confectioners sugar. The father would heave a marble slab up onto the head of the table. As the first kettle reached the right temperature, he'd pour the molten mixture onto the slab, and work it with paint scrapers. Then he'd add the color and flavor and continue to fold the sweet, thickening mixture together. Finally, he'd start to cut it into fat 1/2" wide strips, and toss them out to us to cut into bite-sized pieces. 

It had to be cut quickly before hardening, but those first few strips were soft and very warm. We would always sample a piece or two. Quality testing at its finest. By the end of the night, there would be bins full of candy, and a bunch of kids high on sugar.
These memories also inspired me. I'm sure that production set-up would not satisfy today's regulations, but it sure was fun.
The recipe I use is:
3/4 to 1 cup of strongly infused herbal "tea"
2 1/2 cups of sugar
1/2 cup corn syrup

I have not had a chance to experiment with honey, and I believe that one could use all sugar, but this recipe worked well for me. You may want to try a few variations if the corn syrup is objectionable.

To make the tea, I put the herbs, berries, etc., in a pint jar and covered with boiling water, allowing it to steep for several hours. Then I strained it and squeezed the dickens out of the pulp to get all the good stuff. If there is less than a cup of liquid, that's fine.

Put the liquid into a large (at least 2 quart) pan. It bubbles up a lot during cooking, so you need a lot of space.
Add the corn syrup and stir to blend. Add the sugar and turn on medium high heat. Stir only until the sugar is dissolved. Set the thermometer on the side of the pan, with the tip in the liquid, but not touching the bottom of the pan.
Let 'er rip!

While it cooks, grease a 10 x 13 glass cooking dish and put down plastic wrap or parchment on a surface where you'll be doing the cutting - probably 2' x 3' is sufficient. Sift confectioners sugar or cornstarch over the plastic wrap.
When the temperature of the candy reaches 300 degrees, turn off the heat and stir briefly.
Pour it into the baking dish. Have something under the dish to protect the counter from heat.
Wait a minute or two, and lift the edge of the candy to see if it can be lifted to cut. When this is possible, use scissors to cut a strip, and toss it out to a waiting helper who will cut it into pieces. This really is difficult to do alone, but it's possible. Keep cutting the strips until it is finished.
If the candy in the baking dish hardens before you've finished, you can place it into the oven and heat it, but it will probably stick to the dish. I've taken out the whole piece that is leftover, melted it in another pan, and repoured it into the original baking dish. Clean-up is easy, hot water dissolves the candy.

Here are the infusions I started with:

Elderberry Bits
1 cup fresh elderberries
2 slices ginger
zest from one lemon

Lemon Balm Bombe
3/4 cup freshly picked lemon balm
1/4 cup freshly picked passionflower leaves, flower, tendrils
1/4 cup blueberries
zest from one lemon
20 drops of lemon eo just before pouring into baking dish

Tulsi Twist
3/4 cup freshly picked holy basil
1/4 cup dried goji berries
1/4 cup freshly picked chocolate mint

Herbalicious Medley
juice and zest from one orange and one lemon
1/4 cup holy basil
1/4 cup elderberry
2 slices ginger
3 rose geranium leaves
sprig of lemon thyme
sprig of rosemary
sprig of lemon verbena
1/4 cup mint
2 pods cardamom

Herb Clay Bowls

We have some pretty great conversations on the chat list for The Essential Herbal Magazine. A couple of weeks ago, Brenda asked if anyone knew anything about "herb bowls", and the topic meandered in the background. Until yesterday. Yesterday I woke up with the burning desire to try making them. Over the years I've made tons of incense cones and herb beads using clays made with herbs as the main ingredient, and have put together books and kits for those items. It suddenly hit me that a similar clay could be used to create bowls. And so it began. Since the purpose of the bowls is primarily fragrance, powdered cardamom came to mind. I mixed about 1/2 cup of the cardamom with about a tablespoon* of gum tragacanth. It was probably way more tragacanth than was needed. To that, I added water gradually until a nice clay consistency was reached.Lining a bowl with cling wrap, I formed a bowl inside, and then decorated it with cardamom pods (more on that later*).Next, I made a little coiled clay pot. Both of these were made from that 1/2 cup of powder.As they were drying, Kathleen Setzer (Historic Herbals writer for TEH) suggested that they would make wonderful votive holders, with the heat from a candle releasing the scent of the herb. Hmmm. And then I pulled out the frankincense! For this, I used about 3 tablespoons of powdered frankincense, and 2 teaspoons of gum tragacanth - again, way more than necessary and added water slowly to form the dough, and used a custard cup covered with cling wrap as a mold. The dough was exceedingly tacky, but after about 10 minutes on the mold, it started to calm down. At that point, I started inserting pieces of Copal, a sunny, yellow resin, thinking they would create tiny windows in the bowl.*Gum tragacanth is a very strong binder for working with herbs, that adds no scent of its own. A teaspoonful would have been more than sufficient in either of the mixes described above. It absorbs a great deal of water, and using so much means that I will probably have some cracks to deal with as the clay dries and shrinks. I'll make a slurry and patch them when the cracks show up later. An ounce of the gum would be plenty for 5 or 6 cups of powdered herb. *Adding the cardamom pods along the top of the first bowl didn't really work. Many of them did stick, but as the dough shrunk, several dropped off, and got a dab of glue.*Another thing I discovered was that cling wrap on the outside of the custard cup held fast to the glass, making it very difficult to remove. The inside of the clay bowl remains moist because air doesn't reach it, so it has to come off to dry. To do that, I used a darning needle and blew hard into the space it created between the cling wrap and the glass. Not sure what to suggest in its place just yet, though... Just keep that in mind when molding. *All things considered, so far I really like them. The coiled one was the simplest, the frankincense the most difficult. *Less finely powdered herbs are on my to-do list, as the tragacanth will hold it nicely. *These bowls cannot be washed, however I'd like to mention that I've submerged beads made with tragacanth in water for 5 minutes to test them, and while they do get slightly gummy on the surface, they do not dissolve in that length of time, and dry well to their original appearance. *Grind the herbs in a coffee grinder or blender to get a nice consistency, or order them in powder form from one of our advertisers listed in the sidebar >>> :-) The possibilities are endless. Offering bowls, tiny bowls for the Yule tree (be sure to make a hole or handle in that case), votive holders... and the herbs!!! Rosemary, lavender, rose, anise, spicy cinnamon, clove, or nutmeg, sandalwood, cedar... ah -I am in trouble now. I might add some orris root to the next batch just to help fix the scents.

GF Persimmon Sandies

This morning I posted a picture of persimmons on The Essential Herbal Facebook page, and a couple of people asked what they tasted like. I had some pulp in the freezer, so I got it out and thawed it to really be able to describe it (sweet tea with fruit). Once it was thawed, I had to use it. There's no need to have a whole bunch of cookies in the house, and we're going to the Farm at Coventry tonight so.... But there will be people there who can't have gluten. There was a good cup of rice flour in the cupboard. Hmmmm... Here's the recipe I threw together: 1 C rice flour 1 C sugar 3/4 C persimmon pulp 1 T finely chopped ginger root 1/4 C chopped walnuts 1/2 t cream of tartar 1 t vanilla 1/2 t cinnamon Mixed it up good, dropped small spoonfuls onto parchment, and baked them at 350 degrees for 13 minutes. Parchment was VERY important.. They still needed to be lifted from the parchment with a knife. If there had been more flour, it would have been better to add some butter and an egg. I think I'll make an orange glaze to top them with.

If for just one day, be thankful

There are many ways to look at Thanksgiving. At this point in my life, most holidays have become a time to reflect. Most of them lead me to count my blessings. Oh, there are always big, giant problems in every life. There are things that we would give anything to fix if we could. If we look carefully though, even those have some beauty and grace. Sometimes you have to squint and maybe look sideways, but they are always there.I'm still barely able to believe that my brother is really gone after years of suffering, hanging on, hoping for a transplant. But he is. He is no longer suffering. Our lives here on the hill are no longer completely absorbed by the tenuous balance of sodium, water, lactulose, medications, and proteins that ruled our days. No more midnight dashes to the ER. I am thankful that his pain is over - as (for the most part) is ours. There's such a bittersweet thrill in watching my daughter grow into an independent young woman with dreams that will likely lead her away from me. That was my job, and it appears that I did it pretty well. I am thankful to have been able to (as my sister always says) give her roots and wings, all the while holding back my inclination to cling to her. I am thankful for the whimsical notes that customers write on their orders, letting me know that they love the magazine and feel friendship in the pages. They do not know how very appreciated those comments are to me. I am grateful for the friends and family who have watched me row through rough waters in the past 6 months, but withheld their judgment, even though the situation is difficult for them to comprehend. Knowing that they respect my choices and decisions makes me thankful for their acceptance and love. The act of walking outside, breathing in the air and knowing the plants around me changes everything. It is the most healing thing on earth, and it is completely free and easily accessible. For that, I am eternally thankful. I could easily list a hundred things to be thankful for - simple things like clean water, pumpkin pie, a car that starts at the turn of a key, a home amidst family, but those things are too easy. The hidden blessings, the ones that require looking behind, beneath, through, between - those are the sweetest because they are the hardest to find. I am thankful nearly every day - still working on those odd days.

Air-Drying Clay - Fun Gift Making Idea for Kids

A brick or two of air-drying clay is a great item to get the noggin working on ideas. It comes in white or terra cotta, and you can always work micas or pigments into the clay if you want another color or finish and it is easily found in arts and crafts shops or on-line.I like the terra cotta a lot, and there's no need for a kiln or any baking at all - making it a perfect medium with which to get the kids involved. It can be rolled out to a 1/4 to 1/2 inch thickness, and cut into simple strips 1", with one end made into an arrow shape, and the names of herbs cut into them to make garden markers. The clay can be formed into small offering bowls. I made this wall plaque by fixing a wire loop firmly in the back of the piece while the clay was damp, and then after forming the face (a little angrier than intended, lol...), creating a head dress from dried seedheads, grasses, and flowers. Spices, roots, and herbs could be incorporated, and the gathering of decorative herbs and grasses could be a fun outing with the kids, getting them to look closely at what late autumn still has to offer. Another idea would be to press cinnamon sticks, star anise, allspice, cloves, etc., into a pleasing pattern on a square or circle of the clay, making certain to make a flat top surface. Be sure to start with a shape that is deep enough to hold the spices and be able to have a flat top, to form a coaster for hot mugs, that will release scent when the heat warms them up. Since this clay can be painted or decorated in many ways, it could also be used to make pendants. There are TONS of crafts that could be made for gifts. It takes about 24 hours to permanently harden, so you can play for weeks with this one - even waiting until almost the last second!

Herb Tea Gifts

One of my favorite gifts to give is a specially blended tea. Knowing the person, what they like, and what they might be fighting (sleeplessness, sniffles, germ-filled workplace, etc) make it personal. However, even if you aren't particularly knowledgeable about the medicinal properties of herbs, you can still put together a very pleasant tea that is individualized.

Blending teas is an immensely enjoyable craft. If you've gathered and dried herbs from the garden in the previous season, you're all set. You can get some additional ingredients at your favorite purveyor of herbs - either a neighborhood herb shop or on-line, or make do with what you've got on hand.
Good herbs to start with include mints, ginger root, chamomile, rose petals, lavender, red clover, elderberries and flowers (I really like to dry blueberries and raspberries during the summer and chop them up for inclusion), echinacea leaves, flowers, or roots, lemon balm, lemon grass, hibiscus, rose hips... and really we could go on and on. Many, many herbs are good in teas - either adding bright notes to the flavor, or soothing, healing properties. Spices are delicious too. Cinnamon, saffron, star anise, licorice root, and cardamom come to mind immediately.
For gift-giving, you might want to choose to give a friend loose tea, which in the case of a particularly beautiful blend might be especially desired. If you suspect the recipient wouldn't use the tea unless it was in teabags, you can get heat-sealable teabags and take care of that little problem. All sorts of packaging is available at this time of year. Tins, boxes, and even mason jars that have a ribbon around the neck can be spruced up and labeled with personalization.
Some ideas for combinations...
Someone need to relax? Choose and blend from these:
Chamomile
lemon balm
passionflower
skullcap
catnip
oat seed
nettles
linden flowers
Challenged by lots of germ exposure?
elderberries
echinacea
astragalus
eleuthero (Siberian ginseng)
St John's wort
holy basil
thyme
Lots of colds and allergies?

wintergreen leaves
mints
goldenrod
nettles

These are just a very few ideas and choices.
There are herbs that can support nearly every physical and emotional situation, but they do require some knowledge and research. Blending a tea simply for the pleasure in the cup is a wonderful gift as well. One of my favorites is a 50/50 blend of black tea with spearmint. Flavorful teas can be blended with raspberry leaves, strawberry leaves, and dried citrus zests and flowers.

I encourage you to give it a try if you haven't yet. Simply assemble 5 or 10 herbs that you have read about on the boxes of commercial tea blends. Add a pinch of this and a bit of that - ALWAYS writing down what you do as you do it (what if you discover the perfect blend and don't know what it was?) and brew small amounts to taste. Add to the blend until it is perfect. Make very small amounts until you've found a blend you like.

For more information, you'd probably love our magazine!  SUBSCRIBE HERE.

We also have a lot of good books (including one that is filled with favorite herb teas from herbalists around the country), and you can get them HERE.

The Classic Crash and Burn

It's something that just isn't worth fighting anymore. It always comes eventually. So many of my friends are self-employed entrepreneurs that I see it all around me, and at this time of year it can hit everyone, regardless of their circumstances. We work and work, creating endlessly auto-revising lists in our heads. As things get more urgent, diet, exercise, and fresh air fly out the window, sleep is sacrificed, and we are in contact with more people. I've actually experienced this in an almost instant way on some occasions. A few years ago I was caring for a desperately ill relative, and it was very stressful. I started to feel "off", but it showed up as a restless crankiness. After a few days, it was determined the patient needed hospitalization. Getting into the car, my stomach cramped. By the time we got to the hospital parking lot, I was full-out sick, quickly reaching the feverish weepy phase. In other words, as soon as the pressure was released, my body allowed itself to give in. That happened on a smaller scale today, since I've learned to listen more closely (and have the luxury of being able to stop). We've been at a dead run for several months, publishing 2 books since July, along with the bi-monthly release of The Essential Herbal Magazine, and the near tripling of the my sister's wholesale soap company. Then the tree farm opened, along with the little shop. The next issue of the magazine went into the mail yesterday, and my lower back started to act up (Ding!). This morning I felt grumpy. I went down to the shop, but couldn't quite get the smile thing going. By 2 o'clock I was back home and barely managed to get my shoes off before crashing for about 3 hours. It will probably be a very early night tonight, and a hefty dose of elderberry is in the cards for me too. Good timing, though. There's still lots of time to enjoy the next couple of weeks, and for once the crash and burn won't happen on the eve or day of a major holiday, and it only took me half a century to figure it out.

How to Enjoy the Holidays by Saying "No".

In the past week or two, I've spoken to several friends who are just completely overwhelmed by this season. Of course it isn't entirely about the holidays, but the season brings about a culmination of anxiety and stress. We all do it. We agree to things that we know are going to be difficult to accomplish. Lots of those things can't be avoided. Somewhere in the middle of it all, we lose the ability to differentiate between the "musts" and the "maybes". We can't see the forest for the trees, and sometimes even stop looking. When I was a child, most families had one parent who worked, and one parent who took care of the home and the children. It was not that way at our house, but most of my friends had that typical situation. When the holiday season rolled around, the mothers spent a lot of time on decorating the home, shopping, baking, and creating the whole fantasy. On a weekend soon after Thanksgiving, the father would get out the lights and the ladder and deck the house with lights before returning to the football fest indoors. As times changed, we have not allowed ourselves the flexibility to recognize those changes. We still expect the same amount of preparation and magic even though the time to make it happen has vanished, leaving us feeling inadequate and lacking. I'm not suggesting that we should give up the things we enjoy, but I am thinking that we need to give some serious thought to what we do because it is fun, and what we do because of some external and/or imagined pressure. Here, we've run the gamut from the Total Christmas Experience to pushing the whole season back a month because we couldn't manage it. Neither of those really work for us. The first makes us grouchy and stressed, the other feels sad and empty. Somewhere in the middle is the perfect blend. I've found that what we "need" to feel happy and festive is: *One day spent shopping at quaint shops for quirky little gifts with the kid. *One mad dash around with my sister. *One batch of cookies baked with the kid. *A tree. Everything else is extraneous. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, that's also fine. The best part is that by paring down the list of "musts", we find more time for extras without feeling like we're doing it because we have to. Then the extras really are fun! I'm wishing you all a season filled with genuine fun, joy, peace and love. And the ability to say no.

Starting to learn herbs

The topic of herbs is huge. It is intimidating to those who haven't put their tootsies in the water yet.Everywhere you look, people are talking about obscure, sometimes rare herbs, and as is suggested by the experts, they are using the Latin botanical names. There are very good reasons for that, but if you are hoping to just learn about the things that will keep your own family comfortable and healthy, it seems like too much to bite off. The truth is that most of us will use a small personal arsenal of herbs. Although I grow and/or gather 30 or 40 different herbs during the year, there are only 3 or 4 that have a place on my kitchen counter. Elderberry and holy basil are always there, although we don't take anything on a daily basis. Right now, goldenrod, ephedra, and nettles are there too, because my kid is struggling with some allergies, but normally they are back in the cupboard. Chamomile is one of our staples too. We always have ginger around, especially in the winter because it warms everything and seems to increase the actions of the teas we drink. But I'm getting off course here.... Considering how few herbs are truly necessary for the average person to really get to know (learning 10 well is very significant), the best thing to do is to learn one or two very well in a given season (or even year). I've written about this before, and I remember listening to Gail Edwards give a talk many years ago about finding an herbal ally and spending at least a year with it. For winter, elderberry and holy basil are my go-to herbs. Both are anti-viral, and holy basil has many other attributes, like helping the body handle stress. Stress leads to illness, so handling it is a good way to avoid illness.Let's say you wanted to become familiar with these two herbs. First read about them. Take notes and find out all the positive things they can do, and also if there are any contraindications. Next, obtain some of the herb. Make them into tinctures, syrups, jelly, and herbal lozenges. I keep several "batches" of elderberries frozen and ready for pie in the freezer. Blend them into an herbal tea. Use them, and record how they work for you. Really get to know them and get comfortable with them. Before you know it, you will have knowledge. You'll have some herbs that you can rely on, and you'll know how to use them. You'll have learned to put together soothing teas, a nice healing salve, and a tincture or two. By learning about herbs one at a time, there is nothing to fear and everything to gain. The Essential Herbal Magazine's goal has always been to demystify herbs and make them accessible to everyone. It's a great place to start!

You Mean *Those* Dandelions?

I was a lucky kid. We grew up surrounded by woods and fields and streams. We knew lots of the plants that grew around us by name, and they were part of our play, but not used in the home as food or medicine. My grandmother was from the days of horse and buggy, and she wasn't looking back. She embraced modernity with open arms and wanted nothing to do with the past. Every time she opened the chest freezer to withdraw some cherished out of season fruit or vegetable in one of those little waxed cartons (before they came in plastic bags), the look of supreme pleasure that spread over her face made it clear that she was never going to be making sassafras tea, dandelion greens or ANY foraged plant based foods or medicine in her house.
There was the disconnect. It happened right there. We knew the plants, but their place has been usurped by a love for modern convenience.Echinacea
As the years passed, we rediscovered a love for gardening, but in doing so, we looked for the new hybrids, the double flowers, and the colors that didn't exist before. Then we developed an interest in herbs. We started reading all the books we could get our hands on. My sister and I would each read a different book, swap, and then discuss. Over the winter, we studied field guides and memorized pictures of our long lost friends.
Early on, we started reading about herbs like dandelion, sheep sorrel, chickweed, and burdock. Burdock Surely they couldn't mean the ones growing outside here! We were so removed from what we felt, that we would order these herbs from suppliers to work with. Catnip, rosehips, and chamomile came in bags. Things like shepherds purse and cleavers and elderberry were ordered. Why? Because we just couldn't believe that the ones growing in the yard could possibly the magical, mystical items we were reading about.Yarrow
And then one day we reconnected. At an IHA conference in the early 90's, I saw a Wild Foods Field Guide and Cookbook by Billy Joe Tatum at the bookstore. For three days, I looked through that book before finally deciding to purchase it (I'm tight with a buck - lol). Inside, I found recipes for all kinds of weeds - the same ones that grew outside everywhere.Stinging Nettles
That started my everlasting (and somewhat annoying to companions) search for various wild herbs whenever I am outside. If we stop at a gas station in another state, I am standing on the edge of the parking lot looking down at the weeds growing by the culvert. If we stay at a hotel somewhere, I need to wander along the edge of the cultivated lawn and look into the wild places. If I am driving somewhere, I am looking at the sides of the road as much as possible, and prefer the passenger side because it is safer for everyone.
The first year, I looked for chamomile, and found it everywhere.Chamomile
The next year it was elderberry. In recent years, it has been blue vervain and linden. It is always something. I learn to see them by their color and shape, by realizing what plants they grow near or whether they like wet areas, or disturbed places, or shady, bright, hilly... Soon, if you look long enough you know where they are without actually seeing them. Step a little closer, and yup - there they are.
But the most important thing was learning that YES, it is THAT dandelion. It is THAT catnip, or elderberry or sheep sorrel. It is THAT red clover.Elderberries
At the time, we opened a shop and needed lots more of many of these herbs than we could ever forage or wild-craft ourselves. We tried gathering our own catnip one year, but we needed 10 or more pounds for the year and despite massive efforts only managed to collect a bit over a pound before taking over large portions of the workshop to bunches of drying plant material.
Now, without a shop it is very easy to gather what is needed for most things. Very few of the herbs that I use are not from this property - either wild or cultivated. I will never know all the plants that grow around me, but I do know that they are all important, and will keep learning them - one or two per year.Rosehips
Not everyone has the luxury of living where there are wild things outside the door, but I've also found chickweed and lambsquarters in a rooftop garden in Manhattan. Here at The Essential Herbal, we believe that if you're interested in herbs, it's a good idea to recognize that the dandelion you see is the very same one you'd use. It's great to get to know them!

Natural $$$

Sigh.... Just recently, we've been reading about the sell-out of the big natural and organic corporations to Monsanto and genetically modified crops. I wish it were just a little bit more surprising. I wish that just once big money and truly natural and organic products could honestly swim in the same pool, but it doesn't seem likely. Oh, sure... there are wonderful companies where the people running them do well, but there is a division, and once we start talking "corporation" and "stock options" the numbers fall off quickly. In all seriousness, we should all know better by now. We've watched this game for a good long while. Not as long as some, but the last 20 years have told a weary tale of hope and deceit. Hopeful, exuberant people learning to use plants for healthier lives, and deceitful business people seeing dollar signs in those glowing faces. For me, it started in *I think* 1992, when my sister and I trekked to what I believe was the first Natural Products Expo East and found an entire wholesale show that catered to exactly what we were looking to add to our shops. We were beside ourselves with excitement! Row upon row of booths run by family businesses making and selling their wares, and we were able to talk to the people who blended the teas, made the tinctures, or wrote the book. We found incredible, innovative natural and organic products. Imagine our surprise when the very next year the whole thing changed, and instead of long-haired hippies in jeans and tie-dye, we found chrome and glass, suits, and booth bunnies selling things like glandulars, body-building formulas, and weight-loss capsules. We were devastated. The big boys had followed the scent of money to be made. I distinctly remember having a drawn-out argument with some "suit" who stopped us in the aisle offering an "herbal cure for herpes". Really. To begin with, you rarely find the people who actually make things standing in the middle of the aisles hawking and blocking the way - just sayin'... But we took a look at the ingredients and noticed there were no herbs in the list (nevermind the whole CURE thing). It contained vitamins and some amino acids. So we asked him to please point out which of the ingredients he considered to be herbal. He couldn't believe we were being so petty because, you know, what's the diff? You see, he assumed that as shop owners we would be just as interested in pulling the wool over someone's eyes to get their cash as he was. He really couldn't understand how he was insulting our whole industry, and besides, he was just hired for the show to work the booth. He didn't actually know about the product or care if it worked. About that time, the pharmacist from a large drugstore came in to our shop and really gave us a ribbing for all the HILARIOUS products we carried. Can I tell you how highly amused we were to find that within another month or two, we found that they were carrying many of the same products? Or that from then on, we always saw his boss at the Expo? And of course the CVS that opened a block away from our main shop did the same thing. And then we took a series of classes covering the various forms of alternative medicine. During one of the classes, we were told about a new chain of grocery stores, where you could walk in and buy anything, sure that it was healthy and natural. Every eye in the room got misty at the mere thought of such a foodie Nirvana. However we were told, they wouldn't be opening in our area because surveys showed we were "not a highly-educated area". Even at that moment, I knew it couldn't be about education. You can scarcely swing a cat without hitting an institution of higher learning around here. It was about money. I'm glad Whole Foods never came to our area because that has meant that we have honest, family-run establishments run by knowledgeable people who have managed to stay in business here! Whole Mart destroys small business the same way WalMart does, except they manage to cost a WHOLE lot more. We have CSA's, herb shops, herb farms, and our grocery stores carry local produce. We have an amazing array of farm markets. We were way better off without the expensive chain, and learned how to shop for ourselves. In the meantime, I like to think that a lot of people have been learning what they need to know for themselves. Every day I get to converse with readers of The Essential Herbal who are in the process of learning to make their own herbal products - or purchase them from our advertisers who are not big money corporations. I'm proud of spending the last 10 years helping to share that information and getting people together to teach and learn. That's where it's at, folks. It really is up to the individual.

Livin' the Dream

Yes, I get to live my dream. That's pretty much always been the case as long as I kept my nose to the grindstone and my eyes on the prize, but this isn't about me. We had many interesting encounters during the last week, and it made a big impression and gave me a lot to think about. Several times during our stay in the Big Apple, my sister and I discussed how gracious people were, and how they seemed to take joy and pride in what they did for a living. It started out with a malfunctioning shower in our hotel room. Strange plumbing is always a challenge for me, so I dragged Maryanne into the bathroom to see if she could get it to work. Nada. Then I called the desk and asked if there was some trick to it. They sent up maintenance, and it turned out that a part needed to be replaced. The Russian man who came to fix it turned down our offer to go to breakfast while he worked, and had it done in about 15 minutes. My sister joked that back home it would take several days, and he said, "Ah... but this is the Holiday Inn!" and smiled as he left. At breakfast, our waiter Singh asked where we were from, and we found that his cousin has a gas station in the area we grew up, and a home less than a mile from our old house. He told us how he loves our town, and that his family in India are farmers. I asked if it was a difficult transition from the farm to NY, and he agreed that it was. He took very good care of us during our stay, and made a point of saying goodbye on our last day. Later, on a shuttle ride to the trade show, we sat close to the driver. We watched as a driver in a small car pulled out of an icy space and did a u-turn directly in front of the bus, and that led to a conversation with Lena, our driver with a very thick Spanish accent. She doesn't like driving in the city much, preferring runs to Atlantic City, but they needed her. She told us that she has 4 awards for her driving, that her daughter is a doctor, and that she is very proud to wear the uniform - even if her mother doesn't understand why. Her bus company gave her a diploma, and it was the only diploma she's ever gotten. She framed it and it means as much to her as a PhD might to someone else. She LOVES her job. This is in contrast to some women who sat near us on another shuttle and discussed the various merits and disappointments in exotic vacation locations they've visited. Or the vendor who told us about how difficult the grind is going from show to show (and I do know that's true). Or the goof on the train home, trying to impress a young woman with tales of how much work he manages to skip out on. This is not a commentary on immigration. NY is a thrilling mixture of accents, nationalities, and ethnicity. I cannot imagine what it would look like if it were homogenized, but still that's not the point here. So often my friends and I talk about perspective, attitude, and creating our own reality. Over and over we were treated to living, breathing examples last week. None of these examples were typical goals that we think of in our lives, but these folks were living their dreams. It was inspiring to see. All work has value, but it is up to us to find the happiness in it by taking pride in our performance of that work.

A Little Warmth Goes a Long Way

There's talk about a warming trend. Last year we got 40" of snow in the first half of February, but up until February, we'd had almost nothing. In contrast, this year it feels like there has been snow on the ground since Halloween... or was that Thanksgiving? Well it's been a l-o-o-n-g time. Some years it doesn't much matter to me what happens outside. Most years, in fact. I like all the different weather we get here, but this year the snow has been around too long. I yearn for some GREEN! This year spring can't get here fast enough. I need it now! Today we had our first warmish day for a long time. The snow is finally starting to give way. I pulled on some boots and had a look around. There's not a whole lot to see just yet. The horehound is amazingly continuing to grow. I didn't take a picture, but don't mind saying that I find that a wee bit scary for its neighboring plants - the fennel, gooseberries, and something else that I can't remember at the moment (it's still buried under the white blanket). There are three rosemary plants out back. They really aren't fond of the bitter cold temperatures that we got this year, especially before they were covered with snow. Looking at this one, it's hard to say whether it will survive or not, but the lower part of the plant that was protected by snow looks more viable than the tips. The golden elderberry bush has swelling buds. Just this year I learned from Barb Steele at Alloway Creek Gardens that having more than one variety of elderberry will increase the yeild from all of the bushes. That explains the 6 weeks that I spent frantically drying, freezing, and tincturing last year (still have some dried berries available on the website, btw....). Under the elderberry, a deceptively weak looking plantain is greening up. There are many plants showing green - chickweed, garlic mustard, and plantain in particular, although most of them are still under snow. The long row of Munstead lavender is silvery white without a tinge of green yet - but I have no doubt that it will survive. I suppose it's not good to be so cocky, but the lavender seems to love the soil here, and in 5 years they've done nothing but spread and grow, needing vigorous haircuts last year. These particular plants flowered continuously for 3 months last year. The front yard only has two patches of ground, surrounding the trees. It makes me wonder about whether the roots produce some kind of energy/heat. Certainly there isn't as much snow under trees, since the branches would form a shield, but this is kind of interesting. This coming week we should head towards 60 degrees by the end of the week. I can't wait!